Soften walls

Open doors

Create genuine connection

What do you long for the most?

Is it to be deeply cherished?

To be genuinely seen and valued - not for what you do or how you perform, but for who you actually are?

Do you want the walls of defensiveness - yours and theirs - to open up - and finally have relationships that feel genuine, safe and real?

Where you can be yourself without fear.

Where connection is nourishing.

You’ve been trying to create better relationships.

Setting boundaries. Working on yourself. Practicing radical self-care. Being carefully kind.

But the loneliness is still there.

• The crunch of walking on eggshells.

• The exhaustion of trying hard and still feeling disconnected - and perhaps disrespected.

It’s not that what you’re doing is wrong.

So many things are getting in the way.

• Old stories we’ve been carrying about who we are and what’s possible

• The fear of saying the wrong thing in a world that doesn’t seem to forgive mistakes

• Walls we built long ago for protection that now keep each other out

• Conflicts we never learned to navigate without someone either shutting down or over-reacting

These barriers are real.

And learning how to move through them - gently, wisely, at your own pace - .

• creates the kind of safety where defensiveness can drop

• allows people to be really seen and valued

• creates the conditions for growth and connection

• . . . that’s when the relationships we’ve been longing for can emerge and flourish.

Let’s consider :

The walls, the distance, the exhaustion - it’s usually not about being flawed or bad at relationships.

It’s about being afraid.

• afraid of being vulnerable and hurt

• of not mattering

• afraid that being real may mean being rejected

• afraid of making mistakes in a world that doesn’t tolerate differences or learning curves

Even the most successful, put-together person is often driven by fear - rather than offering their unique gifts in real cooperation with others.

So the important question becomes :

How do we create the kind of safety where we can actually belong -

• where mattering is unique

• and doesn’t require performing

• where cooperation feels better than competition or isolation?

Not fake safety built on pretense and compliance. But real safety - where we can be messy and playful, struggling and delightful, imperfect and learning - and still belong.

That’s what cherishing creates.

What does it mean to be cherished?

Think of a time when someone really saw you. Not your performance or your usefulness, but you. When they looked at you with warmth, appreciation, maybe even delight - despite (or because of?) your imperfections.

How did that feel?

That’s cherishing.

And it changes how you experience life. And impact others.

When you’re genuinely cherished:

• your defensiveness drops

• old stories lose their grip

• you know you matter and belong

• you can risk being real

• you connect person to person

And when you practice cherishing others?

Your warm connection softens walls of defensiveness - revealing the real person - in a world that desperately needs to appreciate each other.

It’s like saying: “The light in me sees - and delights in - the light in you.” Even in passing. Even for a moment.

People visibly relax and open up.

But here’s what makes cherishing different :

Most self-help focuses on you. Fix yourself. Set your boundaries. Protect your peace.

And yes, that’s where we start.

You can’t genuinely cherish others if you haven’t learned to cherish yourself.

But there’s another important aspect.

Because . . . here’s what it seems we’ve forgotten:

finding the delightful and real in others makes our life rewarding, too.

• the warmth of genuine connection

• the sense of belonging that comes from working together toward something good

• the satisfaction of helping someone feel seen and valued - and seeing them thrive

• the richness of really knowing other people - not just their social media highlights, but their struggles, their quirks, their real essence

Both people come alive when we really see each other.

And when we learn HOW to shift the defensive dynamics in our relationships?

We can discover we’re not stuck in the same old patterns

that there are ways

• to dance differently

• to create safety

• to make cherishing possible

- even in difficult relationships

Your small kindnesses create big ripples

In a distracted world, you might think your small moments of kindness don’t matter much.

A genuine smile. A moment of patience. Really listening instead of planning your response. Seeing someone’s potential when they can’t see it themselves.

Any influence ripples. (science says so)

The patience you offered someone today? They might extend it to their struggling teenager tonight.

The belief you showed in them? They might offer it to a difficult colleague tomorrow.

That genuine seeing? It could ripple through families, workplaces, communities - even to conflicts you’ll never know about.

In a world that feels increasingly divided and polarized, cherishing is quietly revolutionary.

It breaks down walls.

It makes it safe to be different and still belong. It reminds us we’re not isolated individuals - but interconnected human beings - each one mattering, each one needed to do their part wholeheartedly.

You make a difference in the world. Right now. In small moments. Through the choice to cherish.

What gets in the way :

If cherishing is this powerful, why isn’t it everywhere?

Because it requires something most of us were never taught:

• the skill to see past someone’s defensiveness to their essence

• the courage to be curious when people are difficult

• how to use creative boundaries that protect while respecting everyone’s worth - boundaries that don’t allow dysfunction - but believe people can grow

• the practice of being both vulnerably honest and compassionate at the same time

• the audacity to believe people (including ourselves) can actually grow and flourish

These are skills that get blocked from developing - for cultural or personal reasons.

And that’s why The C.H.E.R.I.S.H. Mosaic was created.

C.H.E.R.I.S.H. is a framework of relationship practices that soften defensiveness and discovers the real in people.

Through science-backed relationship practices, timeless wisdom and real-life experiences together, cherishing becomes a way of seeing and being that allows everyone to flourish.

If you would like to reflect on how you connect with others - and to consider deeper connection at this stage of your life - see the description of the QUIZ “Discover Your Connection Patterns?” below.